20 July 2011

bouncy bouncy rabbit

I actually felt pretty good yesterday! I was so energetic and I just wanted to go go go! I took the pups out and went for a short jog and know what? No pain! Oh my heaven it was so nice to jog without any pain! Maybe it's my shoes...I wore my regular everyday shoes rather than my jogging shoes...tomorrow morn I'll try jogging with my normal pair and see if it helps any.

We went to Montgomery Inn BBQ last night. It wasn't too bad. I allotted for it; did my pre-restaurant-online-menu-study and was prepared for the meal! Ordered a crab cake appetizer and steamed broccoli side. What made things even better is that boyfriend stood up for me! He backed me up because he knows that I'm eating well. Even though I only ate half the crab cake and half the broccoli, he was okay with it and backed me up on it! Ahhh! That's probably what gave me so much energy that night! ^__^ I dunno, things like this make me feel guilty for considering crossing this line I'm teetering on...currently I'm doing nothing wrong cept acknowledging her in my head again...but it's SO hard to have someone screaming in your head all day long with relentless clawing insults because you are sitting on the couch, eating an apple and watching Scrubs on television rather than jogging in place or doing sit-ups...I still don't know which way I'm going to go. But for now, I'm content staying under 800cal and staying on top of my daily exercise...even if she makes me lose it and do more than I planned for, at least I'm eating well. I honestly don't think there is anything wrong with 800cal, I think it's just our over-eating population/society in general that makes 700-800cal look bad. It's really not. Look at me? I'm not dying, I'm not weak, I'm not suffering any physical side effects. So I'm not completely down the shit-hole yet...yet...I dunno if I will be or not...if she calls me and I can't not listen, I will be...

.......she's getting louder though

1 comment:

  1. Hang in there!
    Your strong enough to be happy no matter what path you choose. you did great today, and honestly 800 is really reasonable. im sure plenty of people accidently only eat 800 a day (just not in the u.s. cuz were fatties lol) just because you plan it out shouldnt matter. stay strong.